i felt so miserable!!!

Saturday, June 28, 2008

i called u everyday but still couldn't get through u!!! sometimes ur aunt say u went down, then sometimes ur mum say u r sleeping... nobody noe wad happen 2 me only ... noe & god noe!!! hais... i really dun noe!!! i didn't give up but still no matter how hard i try 2 get u everyday, u r still not there... only ... will comfort me & cool me down... i juz dun understand... everyday i was hoping 4 ur call, do u noe tat??? no, u dun... i sleep also i couldn't sleep in peace... everyday i muz sleep late in de morning... everyday i haf 2 do tis then i watch tv till late in de morning everyday juz 2 keep myself entertain... but still no matter wad i do, u r still not there but my mind will always be full of u... idiot!!! i juz hate it... juz couldn't get u out of my mind!!! juz wondering, why am i like tis & there u are so happy... i'm sorry if i'm rude or wad but i juz couldn't take it... JUZ WANNA TEL U I WAN 2 DIE SO MUCH BUT WAD CAN I DO??? i waited & waited... everyday, u noe??? but also juz couldn't hear ur voice!!! everybody lies... i hate tis world... nobody can keep their promise... i believe i haf make a wrong choice by making de wrong decision... juz let me die idiot!!! u said time's up, game's over??? was our love a game??? idiot... ju z make me cry everyday!!! so bad!!!

i read ur horoscope... "With so much going on, it's easy to forget to make time for the people who mean the most to you. Make catching up with you sweetheart your top priority today. Take the time to really listen and be there..." de horoscope seems 2 be true but juz tat de person didn't do it only... hais...

2day is a bad day, tat's all i can say, i dun noe la, juz feel like leaving tis stupid idiot world!!! i hate everything abt me & i hate MY LIFE!!! i hate it... i'm so sad, i hate myself & i hope i can get lost... i wan 2 disappear from tis place!!! pls help me can!!! everything i do now, i juz feel like dying!!! i dun wan 2 do tis anymore... i had so much enough of MY LIFE!!! hell man, i'm really going through hell!!! kill me... i wanna die anyway, so if u wan 2 kill me, go ahead!!! i won't blame u but i will thk u instead!!! i hate u, why can't u juz let me die... if i die, i won't be going through all tis now!!! i hope i can go blind so tat i can kill myself... i juz dun wan 2 live in tis problematic world!!! i haf tolerate it 4 so long & i really had enough!!! i hope 1 of tis day i can kill myself... if really another prob comes, i will juz disappear & i won't even come back again!!! i had enough & i can't take all tis prob again!!! i really can't take it... i really dun noe wad 2 do & i'm still having fever & flu, idiot... i dun noe how, i'm so sick everyday... then somebody tel me, she say i did not haf enough sleep tat's why i can't recover but i juz couldn't sleep, how 2 sleep??? i really dun noe!!! i'm really going through a hell life... idiot!!! hope i can nv recover & die soon!!! idiot... i still can rmb wad my mum say 2 me tat time, she say she went 2 de god & de god ask me 2 be careful, my mum say u muz be careful cuz tis year u will die but juz u dun noe when??? so i was wondering when will i die??? JULY, AGUST, SPTEMBER, OCTOBER, NOVEMBER, DECEMBER??? HAIS... i though maybe die early could be better...

thk ... 4 all ur words!!! rmb wad i told u... if i disappear 1 day, i really wan 2 see u!!!

LIER LIER LIER LIER LIER LIER!!! u haf forgotten everything i guess!!! u nv keep up to ur words!!! nobody will understand tis!!!

i cry everyday but still, i really dun noe... u dun like then u think i like!!! u will nv understand me!!! i cry for a reason, pls, i won't cry 4 nth!!! if u can find a reason 4 me 2 stop crying then tel me, if u can't then juz leave it since u dun care anyway!!! i'm sorry but tis is how i feel!!! i'm really sad!!! u won't care abt me, i noe & i can feel!!! u won't understand pls... only ... will understand how i feel... tis week alot of things haf happen & u won't even noe!!! i miss u like hell, but then u won't even care... i dun noe, u claim tat u will care 4 me but i juz couldn't feel it... "PROMISE R MEANT 2 BE BROKEN" tis is 1 of de things tat i haf learnt from u... i juz couldn't get u, when i needed u so much??? i think if i were 2 die, u won't even noe, by de time u noe, it will be too late then... everything u say is not true, u juz break all ur promise... u r forever busy... sorry, tis is how i feel...

blog ar, can u help me, i'm really upset!!! :(

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cried
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie
Is made up on your side

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it okay
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do
Reminds me of you
And the clothes you left
They lie on the floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it ok
I miss you

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were
Yeah, yeah

And all I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I do I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me
Yeah

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear will always get me through the day
And make it ok
I miss you

promise me tat u won't leave me!!!

11:59 PM